The very act of being human has needs beyond the physical. A need to be accepted. A need to know one's place. A need to understand and be understood.

For most of human existence, magic, folklore and then religion fulfilled these needs.

They answered who you (and your people) were, why you were here. They kept track of the seasonality of life. They celebrated births and milestones and offered solace at death. They provided a steady cadence to life.

Modern society allows many of these needs to go unmet.

We don't have built in answers to "what is the meaning of life?" or "why am I here?" We don't even have clarity over who to ask about it. We don't have the comfort of weekly guidance and an opportunity to reflect as a community. In fact, few of us has a larger community to be a part of.

As a non-church going atheist leaning agnostic, I'm hardly advocating for religion. I am actively anti-religion in its current form. I think that its wonderful that we have the opportunity to think for ourselves and determine our own beliefs. I believe in seeking our own answers, rather than accepting pre-determined dogma.

But that doesn't mean that we haven't lost something.

Weekly reflection & guidance. A larger community. A cadence to life and the seasons.

We all have our battles. Many of which we fight time and time again.

I was reminded of this yesterday, as I perused the archives of this site. Over the years, despite my efforts not to, I've repeated several articles. Different words, same exact themes. The same battles.

It reminds me to keep fighting the good fights. And that I am not alone in repeating my battles.

You're not alone either. Keep going. Keep practicing. Keep fighting.

Sound bites are sexy. They are attention grabbing. They are clear and succinct. Trouble is? Our world isn't.

Our world is complicated, our challenges multi-faceted and our solutions, they are shades of grey.

And although they have their place in marketing, they should not have a place in our decision making. We seriously undermine our ability to understand and appreciate the many facets of the truth when what we hold true is a sound bite.

Remember, the sexy sound bite doesn't lead to the nuanced truth.

Einstein offered one of my favorite quotes, ever.

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind, a faithful servant.

We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

It reminds me to listen, carefully.

I attended a conference last week with lively discussion about the deliberate introduction of serendipity into our lives. We are becoming more and more saturated by information and that is highly curated. In general, this is a great thing -- its more efficient, more interesting and generally validating. That's pretty hard to argue with.

And that is exactly the challenge: serendipity, which is inherently uncertain, struggles to win the competition for attention with curation. Curation is an almost guaranteed dopamine hit... while seeking serendipity is anything but guaranteed (and may be negative).

This explains why we check our phones rather than strike up random conversation.

Serendipity fuels creativity, innovation and luck. We need it to outgrow our own limitations. Yet taking the risk to seek it out is becoming more and more challenging.

I am a horrible painter. It's true. I'm sure I could become better, master some techniques, but that's not the point.

I enjoy painting because I have absolutely zero attachment to the outcome.

I expect it to be bad. I don't care when it is bad.

I have no fear when it comes to painting - even showing it to other people because I have no ego attachment to the outcome. I don't care that I am bad and I don't care if other people think that I am the worst painter on earth.

My ability to paint (or lack thereof) is not part of my self-identified value.

What this tells me is that the fear of being seen comes not from skill or lack thereof -- but from internal expectations of your performance and your confidence that you can meet them.

If you're afraid, maybe you should try caring less and perhaps even enjoying being less-than-amazing at something.

Want easy? Pull yourself towards what you want. Mostly, we push ourselves internally. You know, issue threats, feel guilty about our choices, say things so mean that we would never say them to anyone else... all in the name of getting what we want.

Change through pushing is hard because it feels hard. 

We're clearly doing something we don't want to do (otherwise, why would we need threats?).

We're always one small slip up from failure, virtually never achieving success.

We're punishing ourselves (way) more than we are celebrating.

Sounds hard. Actually, sounds like it sucks.

There's a better way. And, it's easy because it feels easy.

In the same way that pushing feels hard, pulling feels easy. It's all in the framework.

BUT you want change that isn't easy? You know, picking salad over hot wings... or work over play... 

NEWS FLASH: you don't want pain in your life... and in turn, you don't actually want things that are painful.

The key is to know and understand exactly what you want so badly.

Identify what you want and what it takes to get it. Then decide if you still want it.

Deciding is a key part of success and yet 99% of people completely skip it!

Sure, everyone "wants" to be a billionaire... but when you look at the choices and the sacrifices that becoming a billionaire entails, a lot of people are going to opt out. They don't actually want to be a billionaire.

There is no shame in this. It is supremely wise to decide that you don't want to do what it takes to get what you "want" -- AND, in turn, to realize that you don't actually want that thing!

Frame all decisions around what you want -- NOT what you don't want.

You don't like being told no. You like being told yes.

Your goal is to keep what you want front and center and to say yes to yourself as much as possible.

Suddenly, you aren't saying "no" to the glass of wine, you're saying yes to delightful early mornings... you aren't saying "no" to your friends, you're saying yes to your dream to be an author...

And, again, because this is worth repeating: its okay to find out that you don't actually want what you thought you wanted.

As hard as pushing is, pulling is easy. It's like a cheat code to success.

The hardest part? Keeping what you want front and center.

Yesterday I listened to Tim Ferris's podcast with Peter Diamandis, where one of the questions focused on how to disrupt / reform our education system. Peter had an interesting and eloquent response focused on how Artificial Intelligence will completely change the way that we teach and learn.

As someone who has spent the majority of her career in online education: AMEN!

YES! AI has huge potential to change the way that we teach. We'll be able to play to each student's strengths, individualize the curriculum and challenges, gamify learning and level the playing field in a completely novel way.

BUT - and this is a huge but - how we teach is not the most interesting question in education reform.

WHY are we teaching?

Why we are teaching is the much bigger question that we need to answer. This is how we will be able to make good decisions about what we teach and how we teach it.

Currently, our education system is stuck in a highly industrialized mindset. Its about clocking in, rote memorization and not rocking the boat. It focuses on a single type of intelligence and relies heavily on carrot & stick motivation.

This is far from ideal training for the service and creativity sector jobs that currently comprise the majority our economy. In fact, you can point to it as a hindrance.

Typically, I think that we would say education is to prepare our children for the future. 

Or one can argue that education should focus on fostering happiness.

Or one can assert that we send kids to school to take children off their parent's hands - glorified daycare, if you will.

The reason that WHY is so much harder - and so much more compelling - is that it requires us to agree on a life goal for our society. Do we want our society to be happy, healthy, competitive, wealthy, powerful, contemplative, creative, regimented, disciplined, focused, carefree??? Should it be different for each student (probably). How is that determined?

Deciding why we are teaching requires us to define success. 

Defining success requires us to be contemplative, philosophical and slow down a little. Its a values issue with nothing black & white... with thousands of shades of grey.

Because, ultimately, no matter how good we get at teaching... it won't be effective unless we know why we are teaching in the first place.

Here's the thing with learning and testing: Your results are only as good as your discipline.

This means you need crazy, pig headed determination to reap the benefits of what you are learning and testing.

Your morning routine can only help you if you actually build it... and stick to it! No amount of information will help you.

It doesn't matter if the topic is health and food... or sales strategy and cold calls -- your knowledge doesn't matter, the actions do. Knowledge makes actions smarter. Absolutely. But there still has to be action.

Pig headed determination is one way to get on the action-filled highway.

Yesterday, I mentioned my capsule wardrobe (inspired by UnFancy) and how I learned a huge lesson about valuing quality over quantity. Well, I learned another big one too: Limits help creativity thrive!

It's crazy to think that I feel more creative in my much, much smaller closet, especially since there aren't endless combinations or tank tops in every-shade-of-everything. But, I do. Just today, I found a really fun outfit that I had never worn -- and I'm more than 2.5 months into a 37 item cycle.

By having less (my limitation), I am forced to try different things and step outside of my comfort zone much more frequently.

Creativity lives outside of our comfort zone.

When there are no limits, our comfort zone is like a huge building. There is no reason to step outside of it because there is always another path to go down.

It doesn't feel like it should be stifling because it's so large... but, it is.

If you limit it and make the building much smaller, you're much more likely to start opening those doors and seeing what's out there.

This is why the command -- Do something creative! -- is much more challenging than Come up with a dance you can do while sitting.

I bet you'd come up with a much more creative answer to the second question than the first one.

People who know me well, know that I am all about the reframe. My Mom has even called it my super power.

Reframes help us look at the same situation from a different perspective -- and can blow our minds at how differently we feel about it.

Today I want to share the most consistently powerful reframe I know. It works for almost every situation.

Shift your time horizon.

Stop thinking about the next hour, day or year. Start thinking about a year from now, a decade from now or flash forward to your death bed.

Not a whole lot that stresses us out right now matters anymore, eh?

Which brings us to one of life's central paradoxes, as far as I can tell.

Little things don't matter that much in the scheme of things... But they create the big things -- so, really, they're everything!

I've been loving this question for the last 3 or 4 weeks. It comes from a wonderful story (found in the book Essentialism) of a high school Rugby coach who propelled his team to victory after victory with his "Win" philosophy.

That philosophy? An acronym for living and dying by the question "What's Important Now?"

There are three reasons that this philosophy is so powerful:

1. It pulls you out of your brain and into the moment
2. It crystalizes focus on just one thing
3. It forces you to prioritize -- and act

Together, they completely change your state of mind & trajectory.

Even as I was getting a massage, I found my brain chattering and obsessing... I asked myself "What's important now?" Having the opportunity to relax, rejuvenate and take a break from my brain. And suddenly, things got quieter.

Other times I realize that I don't know what is important now, so I know that sitting down and prioritizing is exactly what I need to do.

And finally, I feel really good when I put myself at the top of that list, when me, or one of my goals, is what's important now. It amplifies the gratitude that I feel and my commitment to it.

All in all, use this question liberally. It's gold.

Years ago, I read a book by Benjamin Zander, the famous Boston Philharmonic conductor. It's an easy read. I breezed through it on the beach. But, boy has it stayed with me. One of Ben's primary assertions is that the best response to almost any outcome is curiosity: ask, what can I learn from this situation.

It went amazingly well! I wonder why? Oh my god, I bombed. I wonder why? So and so let me down... I wonder why?

He goes so far as to have his players say -- "How fascinating!" -- as a way to immediately tap into curiosity without all of the fear and negative emotions that dampen creativity.

And that is the purpose of curiosity.

Curiosity is the mindset in which we invite creativity in to play. It invites us to imagine something new, something different, something better.

Creativity can't exist without curiosity.

I don't know about you, but it seems that a lot of what is read is in one ear, out the other. Given the amount of time that I invest in reading -- and how much I enjoy learning -- this is a travesty of epic proportions.

Over the last few months, I've been testing lots of ideas on how to remember more of what I read, here are my favorite five.

1. Read Slower & Read Less This one was a little sad for me, as I pride myself on voracious reading habits. But it was probably the single most impactful change that I made. I got picker and I got slower.
2. Take notes. Period. I've tried lots of ways of taking notes. What works for me, personally, is a notebook where I write down interesting ideas (sometimes with sources, sometimes my own ideas that came spontaneously). It's not overly organized or overly structured. This is what Ryan Holiday recommends, but its too structured for me. Notes are also how I decide when to stop reading short form. No notes = stop reading & unsubscribe.
3. Re-Read Notes Each Sunday(-ish), I take time and review notes from a couple of weeks ago. It's amazing the amount this helps my memory recall and how many novel ideas I come away with. I find this activity to be very fun & gratifying.
4. Summarize Each Chapter When reading a challenging book, for the purpose of learning, taking 10-15 minutes at the end of each chapter to summarize the major points (and counter points) makes a huge difference. Not only does it require actual understanding to synthesize, but at the end of the book, you have a handful of paragraph summaries that give you the high level overview. Double win.
5. Send Authors Notes & Feedback You don't even have to mail it, simply thinking about the feedback I would offer an author helps me shift my perspective into a critical awareness of the books strengths and shortcomings. I've sent several.. and kept several. Both outcomes have been equally useful in helping me evaluate and remember the book.

You have two options when the low hanging fruit is gone. You can play a new game or you can strive to become THE best.

If you play a new game, its possible to combine skills to become world class (think funny writer + good artist = amazing cartoonist). Or, you become a jack of all trades, master of none.

If you strive to become the best, you know that the best reap disproportionate awards. But, you're playing a very hard, very competitive game. You may lose.

There isn't a right answer. Just a right path for you, right now.

The best way to learn is to ask great questions. It doesn't matter if you are talking with an expert, reading a book or brainstorming alone -- focusing your effort by asking great questions is key.

Great questions focus your energy. They help you determine what is (and isn't) important and retain the information that matters.

Here are some great questions that work in all kinds of situations?

1. What information do you need to make the decision?
2. WHY are we (insert what you're doing)?
3. What are the biggest assumptions that drive this option / person / view?
4. What are the primary influences on this opinion / person / view?
5. Why does this matter?
6. What am I trying to convey? (message & feeling)
7. Who are the stakeholders? Who does this impact?
8. Who is protecting the status quo?
9. How has this changed over the last (year / decade / month)?
10. What is best for five years from now? (and change the time horizon)
11. What's important NOW?
12. Where have I seen these patterns before?
13. What are the potential downsides? upsides? Most likely outcome?
14. What is out of my control about this situation? What is in my control?
15. What would help?

Reading is one of the most important things that I do. I read 100+ books a year. I read 30+ smart articles a day.

That's about 12 million words a year of learning focused reading.

The way I see it, my #1 priority is to go to bed smarter than when I woke up. This is a gem of a phrase that I stole from Charlie Munger and think about everyday.

Learning is a system that I trust. I've seen it pay off in spades -- in my career, in my relationships and in my self-awareness. Big, huge wins.

I know it's my priority. But, just because its clear, doesn't mean it's effortless.

I make the time to read with these five key strategies:

1. I always, always have a book with me.
2. I treat my well edited Feedly (where I get 90% of my articles from) as my guilty pleasure
3. I binge read. Mostly on the weekends.
4. 99% of the time, I don't do TV, social media or "news".
5. I always have at least 2 books going, so I can pick based on which one I feel like reading.

These may or may not be the right strategies for you. But, I assure you, there are strategies that will help you make time.

The best strategies are simple, but they're probably not easy.

Sit down and identify what you need to do to make time. Then do it.

The purpose of education is to spark and sate curiosity. On repeat. This is how we get self motivated and directed students.

This is how we develop humans who can pivot and succeed in our world, where the rate of change only increases.

It's not how we learned in school, but it's how we need to educate ourselves.

Note, that the sparking is just as important as the sating.

Absorbing ideas is key to growth. Read. Talk. Expand. But, Idea absorption isn't enough!

Despite what schools tries to teach you, parroting and paraphrasing ideas doesn't cultivate excellence.

Absorbing the idea and then thinking about it: what you agree with, what you disagree with and what it connects to in your web of ideas.

Change the idea and make it your own.

This is why the margins of your books should be marked, the pages of your notebooks, full. Curiosity, not submission, cultivates learning.

Ideas aren't worth anything... until you make them your own.

This is where the big wins are. This is where there is untapped potential.

Warren Buffet's secret? Read. Go to bed smarter than you woke up. Simple, but not easy.

The path to health? It's 7 keys, not one of them would surprise you. Simple, but not easy.

Want a loving relationship? The science is laid out: be aware, be considerate. Simple, but not easy.

Don't be one of the millions searching for the silver bullet, the complex but easy solution.

The big wins come from the simple, but not easy solutions. They're readily available and often obvious... they just aren't easy.